Well, like all diary entries I guess nothing good happens on the first day you write something so you gotta start somewhere. I think I’ll start with 2 weeks ago.
So my friend Catarina* messaged me on a Thursday morning about 11.30am. And at this point I’m in work reading the Daily Mail beef between Taylor and Kimye (yes – work is that fun). So I get a text and she says Sharkey you have to come to London tomorrow to this NYX awards, it’s a free weekend. Of course *FREE* is my trigger word so without finding any more details I booked my ticket, begged my boss for half a day, went home packed a case and I was gone. Now I’ve never been a train kind of girl but 2 hours to London was suprisingly OK. I paid £1.78 for a 50cl bottle of Evian though WTF is up with that. I was stood there with a quid out ready but was left disappointed. (I am northern). I met Catarina at the station and we hopped on the tube to our serviced apartment in Kensington. There is a real good reason why serviced apartment is in red (it is the devil but more on that later).
We checked in and went up to our little room number 3 where the other girl we were staying with was already waiting, her name was Idyat, and no offence to anyone who is called Idyat, but when you say that name out loud its pretty hard not to laugh. We discussed what rooms we wanted thinking she would say “I’ll take the room with the ONE bed because there is ONE of me” but no. She took the room with the 2 beds and me and Catarina had to share. Good job we’re sound mates. We rushed getting ready piling makeup on, and headed for this bar for a few drinks and to meet the agency. Off the tube I’d been in London about 4 hours, and a smack head tramp off his box tried to fight me.
Anyway so we head to this bar and everyone i ordering gins and vodkas, (except Idyat because of course she doesn’t drink) so I just order a pint of what’s on draught. This ended up leading to a drinking competition with some guy called Simon, so I was quite tipsy. We went into the BAFTA hall ready, where there was free alcohol everywhere (my heaven). Me and Catarina got pretty wasted, it was 8pm and we were slavvering all over popcorn watching the show. Regardless we enjoyed it and carried on drinking. We met Pandora Box drag queen and by 11pm we were trolleyed. Idyat led us to a taxi and we went to McDonalds. McDonalds was good but Catarina fell and her chips went everywhere, resulting in me encouraging onlookers to point and laugh as she was screaming “MY CHIPS” in the gutter of the London city centre. I’ll cherish that memory.
We got in and we were so wasted and I mean rolling around wasted til 4am. Idyat was not impressed. The next day we had free tickets for LoveBox festival and Idyat wasn’t going, she went to her sisters for the rest of the weekend (I don’t think she liked us). We arranged to leave the serviced apartment key with the receptionist for when we came back from the festival to go to a 21st in Raffles in Chelsea. We hopped on the tube and found out we were VIP Special guests in the VIP. The creme de la creme. So of course whats the first drink I order? A BECKS. Duh. So, Catarina is encouraging Prosecco, she’s acustomed to the finer things, she was showing me the ropes, she was my Richard Gere and I was Julia Roberts. Had Prosecco approx 7 minuted before spillage all down my legs occurred. The weather was 28 degrees it was lovely. So we got pissed and went to the Elrow tent to watch a few acts. We were so sweaty so went back to VIP area for food (steak and lobster ofc) and drinks. Saw some “celebs” AKA Jemma Lucy, Chet, Ross Worswick etc but they didn’t have the creme de la creme bands on like us.