I was supposed to be keeping this as a diary, and like every time i try to write a fucking diary, i get bored and forget to do it. But I was doing so so well this time, I managed like 4 posts, I’m a bit sad that I didn’t keep up with it so I shall try to pick up where I’ve left of…

So yes, I am back by popular demand, aka my lazy friends who are too fucked to remember their weekends so they have to read it on here to remember all the dumb stuff they did.

So my birthday. We shall start with that.

It was a good birthday actually and I really enjoyed it. Accidentally stayed over at my ex’s the night before my night out. But that’s a whole other post to talk about. Anyway so I got in my car went all the way to my friend Catarina’s and we went to have our hair done by the most fabulous man on Bury Old Road. We had it curled and pinned and went back to get ready. I opened her card and presents and we had our tea and started drinking. Well, the party was crazy before we left. Just people in and out, balloons, coke, alcohol you name it people were doing it. We went to the club and my friend did a cute shout out to me and I was soooo buzzing. Then.. I slipped.

I was walking to the toilet and the floor was so so so slippy like pools of water everywhere, so I stood on it and went flying backwards – like a banana slip – and broke my fucking elbow. It was literally like 12 minutes into my actually birthday day too, and I had yet again broken my elbow. Gutted
Anyway enough of the elbow, we all continued o get pissed and then had an after party back at Catarina’s. This party got super out of control let me tell you now. So we were all trying to get into taxi’s, and Catarina was supposed to be in mine, but then some horrible blonde girl (can’t remember her name to be honest so lets call her blonde slut) jumped in Cat’s spot. I was like, woah I’ll get out then because I’m not leaving her – blond slut stayed silent. My other friend D was like “No no, it’s fine, there’s enough room? Who’s got in this taxi that shouldn’t have?” – blonde slut stayed silent. We basically had to leave Cat and go back to her apartment, and I kid you not there was about 30 people waiting outside her door for her to come in. Because of course, she was the one with the key. So we let ourselves in and everyone was upstairs partying and I was so tired i climbed into bed. And this was around 5.30 am now, and more and more people kept turning up. It was quite out of control, to say the least. So Cat went into her room, found blonde slut’s friend lets call her ‘unhinged’ dressed in all of Cat’s gym gear? Bra, top, leggings socks…what the fuck. SO Cat was like “Who are you? Can you please take my clothes off and leave everyone needs to go.”

Unhinged did not like this, she refused to take Cat’s clothes off and then she continued to shout at her saying she was going to hit her and all this, so Cat was like just leave – went upstairs and shouted at everyone to leave, they didn’t. I went upstairs and shouted at everyone to leave… They just laughed at me and ignored me. Cat’s flatmate was going so mad, he was about to get his mates in to come and kick off. There’s always weird people who turn up to these parties too, like a few celebs. I stood by the door watching the majority leave as one guy left he patted my head like a little 7 year old kid and smiled at me. Seriously who the fuck where these people and how do we even get ourselves into this, You know on Mean Girls where she has the ‘Small Get Together’ and invites Aaron Samuels? well this was like that.

There were a few that hadn’t left, our friends and Unhinged. And she was not happy. All I kept hearing was her sobbing her heart out and running around refusing to leave, then she said ‘I’m going to throw myself of this balcony’. It was so so weird. Then she told us she had self harmed and all this weird shit crying in a little ally down the flat balcony. I think everyone was just really traumatised, looking back now having a fat girl off her head on all sorts of shit threatening to throw herself about 50 feet to the floor because she put a strangers gym gear on is just making me feel ill.

So yeah, that was pretty much my birthday 🙂


p.s – I still see Unhinged post on Instagram, and always wonder if shes embarrassed that she threatened to commit suicide over some gym gear on my 21st